“In my opinion… In relationship there must be 100% dependence and 100% expectations… And add one more point 100% space”
Now it’s confusing, How there can be dependency, expectations and space simultaneously in a relationship?
“A perfect relationship be like ‘Ek duje k liye’, Without other one, One can not even live… That’s full dependency.”
Relationship makes two souls to be merged as one, emotions and the feelings gives the pleasure incomparable to heaven, thought of separation gives the shocking vibrations. This is the actual full dependency. Here you must not take the word ‘live’ as it is. No one dies because of any broken relationship.
Now I want you to focus on these two types of couples based on dependency:
- Codependent couples
- Interdependent couples
Codependent couples refers to the situation when a person seeks every little thing from his/her partner. Broadly codependent relationships as a specific type of dysfunctional helping relationship, one person’s helps other in such a way which further leads to other’s underachievement, irresponsibility, immaturity, addiction, procrastination, or poor mental or physical health.
Interdependent couples are those who are having a healthy interconnection between them. They are not afraid to be honest, tries to fulfill the needs of other. In fact, this type of mature relationship gives each of them more freedom. There is mutual respect and support for each other’s personal goals, but both are committed to the relationship.
Now you can realize how 100% dependency can be achieved in a relationship.
“Because of that dependence, one expects that the other one should always be near to him/her… That’s expectancy.”
In a sense, expectations are the flip side of obligations; if someone has an obligation towards you, you usually have an expectation that the obligation will be fulfilled.
Expectations makes the relationship bond stronger when taken in positive way. Because of this expectation only all the feelings like eagerness, accepting, understanding, joy, satisfaction, bless, anger, persuasion, etc. spice up the relationship. And the best one is feeling of fortunate and lucky comes because of the fulfillment of expectations.
There also comes a thing like ‘Mind-read’, it is where the partner thinks that other one must read his/her mind and do the things as expected. Be aware, in the starting of a relationship there may come time when you have to tell your partner about what you expected.
Such things can happen again and again in a very short period. It is said to be the learning stage in a relationship. But after a certain level, if you feel you have to say the words, “I expected you to…,” there’s something wrong. Ideally, partners will feel free to do what they want to do, including things they want to do for each other, and if their feelings are strong and they are truly compatible, their actions will be as well. Here obligation must be focused not the immature expectation.
“Space is when, nobody forces the other to stop doing what he/she likes, Means related to hobbies and interfering between his/her friends”
Loving deeply doesn’t mean forcing to be together every minute and to complete the orders. Giving space shows how much you respect your partners feeling and desires.
These are my views over the topic. I want you to share your opinions in this matter too.
<—It’s normal to feel attached, to desire closeness, to be concerned for each another, and to depend upon each other—>