Marriage outsourcing, is it a type of arranged marriage?

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Maritial union, where the bride and groom are selected by their known ones is said to be as Arranged marriage. This definition of Arranged marriage is now outdated.

But before moving towards the new definition, let’s look into the brief history about the later.

Until the late 18th century, Arranged marriage was in tradition around the world. Later after the sex revolution, people think arranged marriage as abnormal or uncommon. But there are some part of the world where this type of marriage is still practiced, like country of India, Pakistan, Japan, China, Israel, etc.

In recent news, I saw that numerous amount of American men and Russian women are pairing up. Despite of language barrage, tradition and cultural barrier and a long distance, American men are outsourcing marriage; What some call it as modern days Arranged marriage.

Some people says that women from different regions of the world make a better companion, the chances of divorce become very less and also as per the men in US, they prefer Russian women because at a certain age, they still looks younger comparing to their US counterparts. Similarly for Russian women, they are leaving behind their friends, family, job and many more just to have a long-term relationship.

International marriage agencies in USA are making their business these days by making a new term, “Mail order Bride”. Here the men and women takes help of these agencies to find a match for them. After some meetings through the agencies, they get marry in a proper way. Nearly 16K US men each year are getting married through these international agencies.

It is just a start of new term “Outsourced marriage”; gaining the name taking the back of the arrange marriage. Let’s see what happens next.

They will always Lie, Just believe in yourself

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Today I attended a seminar arranged by Department of Narcotics, MP police, Indore. They discussed multiple topics over drugs and its effects. They showed this video in their first presentation :

This made me remember on of such incident happen with me. Please watch this video before reading further.

It was the time during my graduates, when I used to play for a college band as a percussionist, especially playing jazz drums. The practice sessions run last long from two-hour session to five-hour sessions. Even though it seems to be a long session but in actual, there we add a number of breaks and also pauses after songs or taking rest if somebody feels tired.
It was the start of my second semester when I had my first stage show in college itself.  A forty-five-minute show gave me such a pain, seeming like I’m suffered from tennis-elbow. Playing jazz drums and hand moments for those fast rolls, it’s normal to have such pain after a long playing session.
This pain raised a question in my mind about how those rockstars play continuously for hours on any concert. I discussed it with my band mate, who said, “They take alcohol or drugs just before any show”. I was shocked by this reply and that rose a question on my face. To which he replied, “Because of alcohol and drugs, one feels less pain and also the fear of crowd goes away”. I wondered, music is treated as a god gift and also worshiped as goddess Saraswati in India and how can a person can do a musical performance after getting drugged.
Not only that band mate but my other colleagues also told me that if I want to perform for continuous some hour long session, I should also start doing just the way as the other rock stars were doing. They even gave me live proofs about how people take alcohols and all before their show. For the proofs, they showed my the green rooms of some singers and rock band members, who performed in my university cultural fests. Even after the proofs, my inner soul was saying that they are wrong and I also need to prove that. I said to them that I will perform soon and that too without following any of your stupid ideas. I started my band practice and increased my stamina and habit to perform for more hours continuously. For energy, I used to take orange juice and also used to chew chewing gum or normal candy while performing or practicing. And at last, I performed for continuous three-hour show, without any single break of more than fifteen seconds.
It could be my dedication towards my religious rites and the suggestions given by my parents, that stopped me from getting trapped into the black hole of drugs and alcohol , from which no one can get out. I suggest everyone that please not to get into such trap by hearing stupid ideas from acquaintances and by seeing some bogus rock stars. Believe in yourself and also remember ‘Practice makes a man perfect’. You will be right when you know prior to them that “They were lying”.

Yes… you can also be Friendzoned (for girls)

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“There is no word like Friendzone in boy’s dictionary, in case they want anything like same… Sisterzone and GetLostZone is quite famous”

First thing to get into mind is, there is no sanskari boy exist in the world who would friendzoned or sisterzone any girl without any proper reason. It totally depends on your move and the behaviour which turns him down.
Now we come over the point what puts a girl in friendzone.

Every boy have some kind of taste, some gets turn on over good looks, figure and hotness, some over the sense of humour, some finds the girl suitable and attractive after a long time being in friendship and some even don’t know that they are attracted or not (confused ones). As there are number of turn ons, there are number of things that turns off them and probably that single time turn off can permanently turn them down and for being safe they puts you in friendzone or sisterzone. Some of the turn offs were like:

Frequent talks about your male friends: Yup, it’s one of the main reason. Some finds in irritatable and some finds it offensive. Yes… the feel of insecurity is there in boys too and that too constant and frequent talk about your friends will think them to be competitive, which starts with positive mood and ends in final breakup (as there is a limit of bearable stress). So, better talk less about that. Boys want all things clear and easy. Even though you were been in relationship earlier, better just make him aware of that in the early stage, but never ever compare or talk about the previous experiences in future.

Lack of sexual attraction: Obviously one will not find you comfortable as his girlfriend if your personality makes you seem more like a sister. Your behaviour seems too innocent to them which may remind them of their sisters. This scenario is not that catastrophical as in the starting stage of friendship boy will make you aware of that will also treat you as his sister.

When romance thing is like mirage: Even though girl be beautiful but if there is very less romantic vibes between the couple then there is probably larger chances of becoming just friends in the middle stage of relationship. It is also good for both as after all the relationship is for romance.

Going out with his friend: Hahahah, I don’t want to comment over this, but yes, if you go out with his friends without any proper reason and without proper informing, it will be very bad for you. It is because, you don’t know his friends as better he knows them.

If he thinks you are not interested in him: For getting idea about this fact, read my previous blog post “That [space] with the word friend“. Be aware that boys are more confused when they ask you out.

Uncontrolled emotions: Some boys are very sensitive and emotional. When they find that the emotional graph is going towards the fatigue point and also in mean time they find you unreachable(in terms of relationship), they will surely put you into sisterzone not even as a normal friend.

– These are just the common points that can open the door of friendzone to you. There could also be more causes/points which are either out of my mind or are bit not that much commonly affective. So, use your own intution too.

“Friendzone is more dangerous than being just friends”

That [Space] before the word friend

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I’m not talking about the personal space, I’m talking about the spelling where there is a [space] between two words and if that [space] get remove will make the change the meaning of the combination.

Didn’t got yet? it’s girl/boy [space] friend. Yup, there is a vast difference between girl[space]friend and girlfriend; similarly for boy[space]friend and boyfriend.

Most of the people specially boys can’t judge that [space] before their friendship, they always think that there is no space. While the scenario is different with girls; they know where is [space] and where is not. Even though they treat all of their boy[space]friends as special but the fact remain same that in girls mind they have that [space] before the friendship, while in same time boy thinks wao the [space] is not there as they gets special treatment everytime.
Situation becomes worse when boy ask that girl out or do propose, and is awarded with a one line sentence which is: “I thought we were just friends”, and that heart breaking situation makes him realize that he is in friendzone.

Boys… one thing you must remember is that about every boy in the world gets into friendzone atleast ones in his life (the reason is same… their ignorance about that [space]…).

And for Girls… I think you must give some hint about the [space] if there. I know you all aware and know if there is [space] or not. Giving hint about the [space] much before the boy interprete the scenario in different way will make him realize the friendzone much before the situation gets worse and also will be safe from the heart break in later stage. And if there is not any [space] then ask him out immediately, start or propose by yourself or atleast give him a serious hint. It is because we boys remains confused and nervous over the presence or absence of that [space].

Positive Jealousy

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“A feeling that is usually termed as bad, but in case of love, attachment or something like that, it is very usual and sometimes necessary”

Yup I’m talking about jealousness. About every single person in this world is suffering from this problem. It is both bad and good. Here in this blog I’m not covering the bad jealousness but the type of it which is very necessary in one’s life.

One of the most crucial situation in our life is the time you are in a such a position which is above friendship but below relationship. Every love life starts when two strangers meet and becomes friends, after some time bonding between them gets some strength and so the term called best friend emerges. After that best friend thing their mental thinking capabilities and other activities or likliness makes them to be close friends. Till now it’s normal, but now the cruicial situation occurs and the jealousness comes into the picture.

One may get over possessive towards the other. Becoming more concious about the activities of other. Gathering all information about his/her friends is normal in this time period and also giving more attention when there is any activity/meeting/outing is planned between his/her old friends specially who were close to them before or are even close in present.

That thing… That over possessiveness makes one more jealous which is good and it needs to be there untill and unless it is not making any side effects. Getting negative thoughts in mind is also very common which involves thoughts like that pre planed activity is bogus or is irrelevant or something.

If one does not have the feeling of jealousy then I think that person is not competitive and also not so serious about the closeness/relationship. Jealousness makes the person to work beyond his own capabilities, which also increase the bond and makes one to do such acts which directly or indirectly relates to get more attention and care of other.

“Positiveness and limits in anything gives the best results”

You’ll always find better one Don’t cry.

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So have you been into the relationship? Forget a relationship, do you ever got friendzoned? Most probably yes… Everyone gets friendzoned it can’t be denied. Don’t be sad if you were placed into friendzone by someone. Even girls get into friendzoned. For some, it happens ones or twice and others may be used to it. Those who say that they never were friendzoned are those who never asked her/him out because of shyness or fear. And for those who were friendzoned, good for them at least you got some experience to learn the traits and nature of opposite sex. Ya, it’s good if you learn the basic nature and art to talk and make them (opposite sex) laugh. It will be very helpful when you get the special one or any stranger(in the case of arranged marriage), that art will be useful at the starting phase. You can make a strong bond at a very early stage of relationship because of that. So, don’t afraid of getting into friendzoned.
Another thing, I’ve seen many peoples who got friendzoned but still not recovered from the shock of denial or friendzone. They can be always seen saying that she/he will not get better than him/her or also say or thinks that once in a time in her/his life she/he will think that you were the best one and will regret over her/his decision.
Bla Bla… Bogus… No one remembers. Even you also didn’t remember such and also never going to remember such things because it is the human brain which is good enough to replace irrelevant memories or past with the new good ones. And also, when you compare old memories with the new one, you’ll always find that the one you were thinking of as if it is the best memories are very little over this one. Everyone every time meets some better person than the last one and with this new one you’ll also create those memories which you are going to be your best one. I know you’ll not agree with it, so let me ask some question:
1. Do you believe in ‘love at first sight’?
2. Do you remember your first crush? Ya not that you were saying… When you were in fifth grade or even less.
3. How many crushes you had?
4. Do you think the current one is better than the last one?
5. Do you think I can’t live without my current GF/BF? and the last one.
6. Have you also thought the same 5th question answer was same with the previous one?

If your answer to the first question is ‘Yes’ and the second answer is ‘No’ then you are normal and also you are just having some effect of movies and rest none. If 1st one is ‘yes’ and 3rd have answered ‘more than 1’, HaHaHa either you are changing eyes or the love was a just attraction.
If Answer to my 4th question is ‘Yes’ congrats you can always recover from any shock(denial/friendzone/external), you’ll always find a better one though you will feel broken for months or in case few years, but I bet ones you’ll get new one, you’ll get refreshed.
The last thing is if your answers for the question 4th, 5th and 6th were ‘Yes’. Don’t think you are not faithful or you are not good in the relationship. I think you people are the best one, You remains faithful to the current one and that’s the best thing, unless or until you people don’t get broke-up you remains as the true lover and performs best of you. But I’m not here as a judge. I was just proving my blog topic which is, You’ll always find better one Don’t cry.

Love

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Every time when you looks for any picture in which any animal or bird making love or making the heart by their gestures, the first picture that comes is always of the swan couple. You know why? It is because

“Swan only have one partner for their whole life, if their partner dies they could pass away from broken heart”

So, Love, what is it?
I think nobody have the answer. Not because of any literature fault but the fact is Love can’t be described, it is unexplainable, love is a kind of feeling that can only be felt without getting any prior warning and that feeling is so good that one wants to get completely dissolved in it.
Love is something that makes you strong as well as the weakest being in the world.Love is that you can achieve anything and can do things far beyond your capabilities. Love also makes you such a miser that you can’t even stand on your foot. Love is so mysterious that if you get the perfect one you will live like Gods and if you felt it in a wrong way than even God can’t save you from that.
In this era and even before, love is sometimes compared to or even said to be the part of lust. Love comes into picture when two souls meet not the two bodies.
I’ve seen many peoples who used to be flirtatious and so vulgar even found saying that love is a bogus thing. But when they find the cupid struck their heart by his arrow everyone surprised by the drastic change in their behaviour. As it said that a pure atheist can only become the true believer and a perfect theist. A similar thing is with love.
Love is a supernatural power that always remains hidden in everyone’s deep but when it awakens, it shows its full power.
Many people have defined love like:
-Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that range from interpersonal affection to pleasure[Wikipedia]
-Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion, affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests[dictionary].

The best idea about love I found is from an Urdu line which is transliterated here:
“Saat mukaam hote hain ishq mein… Dilkashi, unss, mohabbat, aqeedat, ibaadat, junoon aur maut”.
means:
There are seven stages of love… Attraction, attachment, love, trust, worship, passion and death.

Nature have given us one heart and one brain not for any duel but to synchronize them for choosing one perfect life partner and loving him/her whole life.